


Dissociation

by immortalbears



Series: Stockholm Syndrome [2]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Addiction, Anal Sex, Angst, Attempted Murder, Consent Issues, Diary/Journal, Dissociation, Epistolary, Forced Bonding, Forced Orgasm, Fragmented Narrative, Kidnapping, M/M, Murder, Non-Consensual, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Past Washlix, Porn Video, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sex Toys, Stockholm Syndrome, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-06-01 02:44:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6497719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortalbears/pseuds/immortalbears
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Locus was the sole survivor of a massacre which Felix and Washington took part of. The Director's mission, for Locus, was to kidnap Felix in order to lure Washington out.  Any normal person would have seen it as an opportunity to enact vengeance, or to perform some form of poetic justice. </p><p>Locus, however, was not a normal person. He had abandoned his humanity and sought to be a soldier, a weapon.</p><p>As it turns out, Felix bears the same soulmate mark as Locus'. With the help of the Counsellor, will the Director be able to convince Locus to bond with Felix? What will be the outcome of this bond on Locus' end?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dissociation

**Author's Note:**

> Companion piece to [Object Permanence](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6497683).

 

We persevered. I was one of the leading snipers on our squad. The trick was to never leave a trail. By the time they see the trail, they should be dead. We knew the terrain better than the enemy did. It was our home front.

 

It was a narrow victory, but a critical one for the army. We were going to clear the enemy out before the reinforcements came to help us.

 

We had not seen the enemy in days. We thought we were clear. As long as we found our way out of the Forest, we should have been able to find another team. If they were still alive. We did not find any.

 

Our long range radio signals were jammed. They hadn't been working for months now. This was nothing new. Part of the Information disruption warfare. The slower the communications, the more opportunity to prevent smooth operations. Increases friction between High Command and what is on the ground. We knew that. Our forces did not have the best equipment. It was to be expected. The odds were stacked against us at all times.

 

Cap had just dispatched a messenger to Headquarters. The messenger was supposed to return in a few hours.

 

Two hours later, we heard gunfire. I was hidden. It was not the enemy. They were well-hidden, and knew where we were. My team fell.

 

I shot back, but there were too many. I ran.

 

The messenger was probably dead. I was the last survivor. I thought: I should flee. If I survive, I have to tell somebody about this.

 

Whoever is behind this ambush is not our enemy. It is an ally. We were given orders not to kill them many months ago. We use their ammunitions.

 

I was tired and resting when their scout found me. He had both hands in the air when I was prepared to shoot him. He sounded innocent. Like he didn't know what was going on. Said there must be a misunderstanding.

 

I couldn't shoot him.

 

Even though Cap had said that I was a soldier. Nothing but a suit of armour. I was tired. My entire team was dead, what was left of them. We thought we would live to see the war end, since most of the enemies were gone. We thought the last step was to get in contact with somebody from High Command. Let them know what is going on.

 

That was naïve of us.

 

The Scout sounded new. His armour was painted orange, after all. No professional would do that, if they wanted to live in this terrain.

 

When the messenger came, she found us both. She was jittery. She found out what was going on. Had to let us know that we were surrounded by our allies, who were ready to ensure that none of us would leave the forest alive. She was also too late.

 

The Scout – his name was Felix, he said – shot the messenger. He looked at me, laughed at me for being a sucker, and then shot me.

 

Point black.

 

I do not know how I survived.

 

*

 

Yes, sir. I have heard of the rumour. I do not believe it. As you have said, the rumour consists of the Marks. There is no doubt that they are effective in bonding people. That has been extensively tested in every aspect of society. But the hypothesis that two people with matching marks cannot kill one another is not.

 

There are too few known instances of such occurrences. People survive by _chance_. They do not survive by _fate_.

 

No. It can't be.

 

What saved me was my armour. “Felix” was overconfident. He used a pistol. Usually, it should be enough to penetrate my armour. The armour slowed down the bullet, and prevented it from going through my brain.

 

Sometimes one simply survives a head wound. It is pointless to speculate _why_. I am not a surgeon. If you have access to my medical files, you should be able to read them. I do not.

 

True. The messenger was dead from the same gun. There could still be many factors contributing to my survival. That is inconclusive at best.

 

Yes, Sir. I am a soldier. I do not believe in such nonsense.

 

No, Sir. I have no need for revenge. I was weak because of emotions. I am not weak now.

 

Now I am a suit of armour. A weapon. A soldier.

 

There is no place for desires in the life of a weapon. I will aim wherever you point me, sir. If it is at “Felix”, so be it.

 

*

 

Objective of the mission has been completed.

 

_[There is some loud background yelling involving swear words. Locus looks away from the camera.]_

 

...One moment. There is something demanding my immediate attention.

 

_[Locus disappears from the screen. Muffled sounds of yelling can be heard, followed by silence. Locus reappears on the screen.]_

 

I did not take into account the captive's physical needs. I have since amended the issue.

 

It is as you said, Sir. He was overconfident, as he was when we first met.

 

Counsellor. I am not being nostalgic. It is simply a fact.

 

I have received the files, and have listened to them. It was... Useful. I have identified the captive by his voice and armour. Since then, I have taken them off and will be sending it to you for analysis. The spying technology that you have provided us has been... useful on Felix. He has a tendency to talk.

 

To me? No. To himself.

 

Very well. I will show you what he looks like at the moment. He is unharmed.

 

_[Locus leaves with a video recording device, and uses it to record Felix's face in real time. Felix is in the bathroom, and it looks like Locus has just sprayed him with the shower – while his clothes are still on._

 

_Felix's body looks the same as it is in the videos with Agent Washington: small-framed, but with well-defined muscles._

 

_Although he is generally unthreatening in appearance, he's angry and has an unsettling look in his eyes. His hair is a mess, and his clothes are ruffled, but he seems mostly unafraid, even rebellious and murderous._

 

_Locus returns when he has captured enough information on the device.]_

 

I shall contact you when necessary.

 

Agent Washington is untouched and unaware of our location, sir. As you have instructed.

 

I am a professional. Every move I made in Felix's capture was calculated. There was no room for errors. I would not deviate from the mission objective just to kill Agent Washington, even though he was a part of the squad that eradicated mine. As I have said: personal revenge is not on the agenda. My agenda is simply the mission. You can confirm that Agent Washington is still alive, and unaware of his partner's disappearance.

 

The captive shall be moved to his new room soon. I appreciate the reminder, but it is ultimately unnecessary, as I have read the files. I am aware that his skills include hand-to-hand combat. I shall take the necessary precautions by keeping my armour on, sir.

 

*

 

Counsellor. I have seen the videos. Sex appears to me to be incredibly unnecessary for revenge. If I kill him and send Agent Washington the video, it would have the same effect.

 

Yes, this was why the Director asked me to speak to you.

 

I simply think of it as unnecessary, not disgusting. There is a difference. As a professional, I value efficiency.

 

No, I do not find him repulsive.

 

Yes, I do find him aesthetically pleasing. But it is irrelevant.

 

I am not protesting. It does not bother me at all. I am a soldier and a suit of armour.

 

Yes, Counsellor. I understand. It is necessary to provoke a strong emotional response in Agent Washington to get him to us. That was what the Director specified. I suppose these instructions are a part of the mission, as well. Since it is necessary, I will follow it through.

 

I will give you the results soon.

 

*

 

_[The video showed Locus holding Felix down, wrestling him onto the bed while in his armour, then taking it off only when Felix was subdued._

 

_Locus methodically pinned Felix down and prepared Felix as if the other man was merely a doll, not a living thing. He used plenty of lube, inserted his fingers one by one, stretching methodically before inserting a curved dildo that was the length and breadth of Felix's forearm. Locus slipped a cockring onto Felix, then pressed a vibrator against Felix's cocktip, occasionally moving it to Felix's nipples, causing the latter to moan every time it came in contact with his skin. He then pressed the vibrator against the dildo, making it vibrate inside Felix._

 

_Felix shuddered often. After his first orgasm, he shouted at Locus and begged him to stop._

 

_Despite that, Locus continued, with the detachment that he had before. He alternated his methods as Felix began to get used to the feeling._

 

_Felix all but stopped begging – the only sounds that came from him were the wet squelching from between his legs, moans and groans as he came helplessly, and the sound of heavy breathing while he took all of it._

 

_Eventually, Felix lay there, no longer wiggling or twitching, with a look of resignation on his face, his legs spread wide, cock still hard and painfully red from the ring at the base. Locus had successfully milked him many times, and Felix was crying and passing out at the end. Locus, however, continued, until Felix no longer responded to being fucked with the dildo, or touched with the vibrator._

 

_It is clear that Felix, despite his orgasms, had been deeply distressed by the affair._

 

_The end of the video shows him laying on his back, his head tilted to the side, eyes closed. His face was a mess. His face was red, and streaks of tears remained wet on his cheek, pooling wet on the pillow that supported his head. From between his thighs drip lube, and cum is splattered messily on Felix's lower stomach._

 

_Locus has not recorded much of himself in the video, although what can be seen of his body shows that he is a handsome man, large in stature and extremely well-built. He has a cross on his face, the same mark as the one below Felix's balls._

 

_He sports an erection the last few times he appears on screen, but does not seem to be bothered by it in his movements or expression._

 

_The video ends with a shot of Locus' clothed body as he reaches to shut off the recording device.]_

 

I see. You have seen the video.

 

My job description was simply to force him into a sexual situation such as I have seen in the recording between him and Agent Washington. I have done an adequate job there, and I quantified that by the number of times he has ejaculated. I was not aware that sexual intercourse with him is a part of my job description.

 

Yes. It is as you have noted. The video shows Felix's... mark. I will take the liberty of editing my face and his mark out when I send Agent Washington the video. I am not a professional photographer or filmmaker, and it will take some time.

 

Yes, my mark is the same as Felix's.

 

_[Locus takes his helmet off, showing his face for the first time. He has no expression on his face, and a dead look in his eyes. His voice, without the voice distortion, is deep yet smooth.]_

 

Here it is.

 

_[Locus puts his helmet back on.]_

 

You are right. I was surprised, of course. I did not expect his mark to be in such a location, much less for it to be the same as mine.

 

You... want me to bond with him?

 

No, Counsellor. I do not have such feelings towards him. I am a suit of armour, and a suit of armour is incapable of “caring”.

 

I appreciate the time and the amount of freedom given for me to complete the next objective, sir.

 

As I am aware, the objective is to create an emotional link between Felix and I in as much of a capacity as I am able to. I do not guarantee the efficacy of my skills. I am a weapon, not a bard. The fact that we have similar marks mean nothing, unless...

 

Yes. Unless they touch.

 

...Very well. I doubt that there would be any effect, but I will do as you say.

 

*

 

_[Locus looks at the screen. You can hear him inhale sharply from behind his helmet._

 

_The video that Locus has sent shows more footage. Felix was a lot more conciliatory to having sex – one may even think that he had developed what some experts call Stockholm Syndrome. A captive having developed sympathy for, and closeness to, their captor. He even seemed to urge Locus on for sexual intercourse._

 

_While Locus did touch him more the same way he did in the previous video, he did not anally penetrate him until the last video. The sex that they had appeared passionate, but tender. Locus' pace was slow and accommodating at first, until Felix started to wiggle against him and begged him for more._

 

_After the act, Felix fell asleep. Locus stood up, shaking lightly as he did so, and fetched a light tranquiliser. He injected it into Felix, lifted his bare legs, and wiped him clean._

 

_Then he lifted Felix's lower body and waited for a long moment while their marks touched. It was as if nothing happened while he put Felix back down and left to turn off the camera.]_

 

Counsellor. I was instructed to speak to you after the bonding process.

 

I am fine. This was simply not what I have expected. As you can see from the videos, we have... had intercourse prior to the bonding. I then made sure that Felix was unconscious before doing that. I expect to receive the payment that the Director has promised after this act, as I will be requiring said funds to perform my next mission.

 

I appreciate your help.

 

No, I do not feel any ill-will against Agent Washington. He is simply my mark.

 

Neither am I attached to Felix. He is merely my captive. I have handled him according to specification. It is simple as that.

 

…

 

He talked a lot, yes. He was the one who shot me. He remembers.

 

Hm. I know that he does, because he talked about it at length.

 

I have a question, Counsellor. The Director did not specify this in the contract, and I seek... advice.

 

How should I dispose of him after the mission is over?

 

...I will take that into consideration.

 

*

 

_[This is the meeting before Agent Washington is to be brought to the Counsellor and the Director. Locus streams a live shot of Agent Washington, blindfolded, gagged, and restrained. He is out of armour, but Locus does not seem to have done anything else to him.]_

 

I did not report, as there was nothing more to report, Counsellor. The bond is... It is what it is. This mission took a couple of days, but it is successful.

 

No, Counsellor. I did not feel a need to return to Felix. It would have been a distraction.

 

I was not distracted. As you can see: I have successfully captured Agent Washington.

 

Yes, Sir. I will bring him to the room on your command.

 

I understand that my aid shall be required to facilitate... The final act. If the audience shall keep themselves quiet, Felix would act the same way as he did in the videos, Sir. As you have said, the effect is what we are after. Felix cannot know that Agent Washington and yourself is there.

 

Yes, Sir. I will take care of Felix for this event.

 

My plans, Sir? I will dispose of him after.

 

Regrets? I am a professional, Counsellor.

 

It is as you said, Sir. A soldier has no regrets.

 

 

 

_[Transmission received: Locus' Journal (L_J)._

 

_Most of it is short, and cryptic. Since they make no sense, they have been omitted. Some of the entries are longer, and contradict what he tells the Director and Counsellor.]_

 

I did not tell the Counsellor this. I wonder if he would change his mind then. If the Director would stop considering me a soldier.

 

At the end of the long war, I had seen too many die. Cap told me I was a soldier and a suit of armour, so that I could continue to serve the army. I no longer felt anything by then. But I had to do something. There were always demands. Demands to live. Continue fighting. I lived so that I could snipe.

 

It was not so bad until one day, I watched an enemy soldier cry. It was a young soldier. I do not know why he was out of his armour, or why he was alone. He must have lost his armour. We were supposed to snipe strays. Then leave. They had been careless despite having numerical superiority. This solder, I could see him crying from the scope of my rifle.

 

I realised that every single kill I made was like this soldier. Like me.

 

After the short hesitation, Cap shouted at me. The young soldier heard it, and started to run.

 

I shot him.

 

For many days after that, I could feel the soldier inside me. Crying. I was the soldier, and he was me.

 

Sometimes, I dream of that soldier, too. The feelings return for a while, and I stop feeling so numb... so cold.

 

But when I wake up, these feelings are painful. I do not know of any happiness anymore. Only pain and fear.

 

When I have these dreams, I start to wonder. Why I did not die. I take comfort in the idea that Felix could have killed me. I would have been so grateful to “Felix” for killing me.

 

Even now, I do not see the point of living.

 

But I have no choice. I did not die then. So I shall continue living. As what Cap wanted me to be.

 

Deep inside this “machine” is the soul of a coward and a murderer. A coward who lives off stolen time while his comrades are dead. A murderer who has killed so many.

 

That coward is not me. I am trying my best to kill him every day.

 

He shall no longer take control of this body.

 

*

 

Felix is not afraid of me. Many people are, but he is not. He shouted at me. Called me names. Told me where I could shove it. All this while he is tied up and sitting in a puddle of his own urine.

 

I picked him up and carried him to the shower. Rinsed him off.

 

It has been a long time since somebody has done that. Called me names. I almost remember my old team.

 

Cap's verbal provocations were different. It was because he was a commanding officer and had to get us to obey. My team mates would tell me where to shove it.

 

Felix is the captive. I am the captor.

 

He shouted at me regardless. Such a spirited person.

 

I wonder if the videos that the Director says he will be sending me tells me more about him. I have read his files. He is a sadist and a criminal who wastes too much energy torturing people when it is not necessary.

 

But there is more to it. Many victims are flayed apart, and their Soulmate Marks were always disfigured. I do not know if he is after a specific one yet. The files do not say. I wonder why.

 

But the fact that he is this way is why nobody except Agent Washington would care when he gets kidnapped.

 

Not even his buddy, Sharkface, will come and look for him.

 

The Counsellor has analysed this with a certainty of over 90%. That is an incredibly high possibility.

 

Agent Washington, however, has a different profile. He is a soldier above all. A soldier like myself. He has given up his name. Just like me. I have seen Agent Washington on screen. He is very... attractive. He looks nothing like me. But I am a suit of armour now. Looks do not matter. I will never be in Agent Washington's position. Too much loss of control, unfitting of a soldier.

 

The Director wanted me to do what Felix did to Agent Washington for the camera. I wonder if I can manage to make Felix orgasm as Agent Washington did. I am a professional, so I will not ask about him beyond what is needed for the mission. The Director will tell me what I need to know.

 

That Agent Washington must have done even worse, to get this from the Director. Likely personal. Perhaps business.

 

Whatever the reason, it is irrelevant.

 

...Felix is even more attractive than Agent Washington. I wonder how he looks in Agent Washington's position.

 

I will just do what is required of me. Nothing more or less.

 

*

 

Felix is my Soulmate.

 

Rather, he has the Mark of my Soulmate.

 

It seems unlikely that him and I will ever accidentally bond. The location of his Mark is extremely incompatible for bonding.

 

Agent Washington and Felix has been on the same team for years. When Agent Washington left, so did Felix. Yet, they did not bond. They must have been very close, but they did not bond. The Director made sure to stress that out. How does the Director know?

 

It is rare for Soulmates to meet. That is why there are more than just one on earth. The likelihood of meeting a Soulmate with a fully matching Mark is so low, it may as well be nil. Many settle for a half-matching Mark.

 

Is that what Felix is searching for? Does he kill people with matching Marks, or half-matching ones?

 

My old self would have found him abominable. I should find this repugnant, but instead, I am merely fascinated.

 

I, too, have killed.

 

We are the same.

 

I wonder. What would Felix think of me, were I in Wash's place?

 

*

 

The Director wants me to “bond” with Felix. I have been following protocol on this matter; the captive is not to be mistreated beyond what is required of us for the videos. I understand that I have been given more freedom on this matter, but I do not see a need to do more than this. He has clothes, is sheltered, has access to food, water, and a bathroom. The room is climatised.

 

Regardless, the Counsellor has suggested that I take more initiative in this. Perhaps talk to him. The Counsellor's words are not protocol, but they will aid in accomplishing the mission objectives.

 

I have placed myself in Felix's room to see how it goes.

 

Felix is... talkative. Something has changed since my last visit. He offers to let me do as I please, which is... Not something that crossed my mind. I tie him up anyway, and do the same thing as I did, for more raw video footage.

 

He doesn't cry this time. Even seems to enjoy it. He's smiling at me and encouraging me for more. Making small keening noises like a pitiful animal.

 

He reveals his fear at times, during small moments when he thinks I am not observing. Freezes when I touch him. Trembles. But the fire in his eyes burn bright again and he recovers.

 

If he is afraid of me, then he is like the others. Perhaps he does so, so that he would not be afraid.

 

Interesting. He was clearly in distress before. I have heard that Felix is an actor, and a snake. But for somebody who was previously so upset to suddenly be so persuasive... I shall be careful.

 

He seems to think that I want him. He claims that I'm hard, and that he could make me feel better.

 

I do not.

 

It is merely a physical response.

 

I drop by after he is done sleeping. I have to untie him while he sleeps, and cover him up, so that he does not lose blood circulation or catch a cold.

 

He seems to have mistaken this for something else. Seems to think that I love him.

 

Unfortunate.

 

Does he assume that if I take him, he will get his freedom? He does not know anything about me. He assumes that I am human, that I want something.

 

*

 

He asks me things. Most of them are irritating and not relevant to who I am or what I care about.

 

Felix talks a lot. He has stories, talks like a performer. He tries to hide the specifics of these missions, but I am certain that if somebody is in the know, they would spot it easily. I am not in the know. We have operated in different circles. I am sure that I can get a clearer profile if I looked into it, but I did not record them to begin with. It is not within protocol to record his inanity.

 

He can keep secrets, but only if he wants to. His incapability to shut up will be his downfall.

 

The date of our 'bond' commencing shall be two weeks before we send out the tape. I have one more week with him to produce further results... in video format.

 

It is not in my job description to take him. We will see how it goes.

 

*

 

I return every day to listen to Felix talk. Sometimes I even answer his questions. I do not think he'll know who I am even if I tell him. A person like him cannot possibly understand what a suit of armour is.

 

But he has guessed, correctly, that I was at the Incident. I was the one he shot.

 

I can see the maliciousness in his eyes. The look of thirst. The excitement and satisfaction of knowing that I live.

 

He wants to kill me. He will enjoy killing me.  
  
Unfortunate. He will not have the chance.

 

Felix knows of my Mark. Says that it looks pretty on my face. That if we bond, I will have to press his genitals against my face. That I should just go ahead and lick his asshole while I…

 

Ridiculous. Why does he derive so much enjoyment from that idea?

 

I wonder if he knows of the idea that two people with the same Mark cannot kill each other. I still think it is unproven. I do not wish to test it, at least until the mission is over. Until then, I need him alive.

 

I do not know what the bond between us will be like. I have done some research. They say that it is “love”. An emotion akin to mild euphoria from being with the other person.

 

I have not been speaking to the Counsellor about this, as it was not required of me. I shall speak to him before the Bonding process.

 

I wonder, can a human be bonded to a weapon?

 

*

 

The bonding is complete.

 

I had sex with Felix before I put him under for the task. It seemed fitting. Like what the Director would have wanted. I did not feel anything for Felix, nor did I want him. It simply happened. I wonder why I did that. It was not a part of the contract...

 

There was a light tingling in my mark when our skins touched.

 

The location of our bodies that had to come in contact was... Unfortunate. But it was simply a mechanical task.

 

I could feel it where my cardiovascular muscles lay. Is this what people call “emotions”? It seems... physical. Like an ache that won't stop, that can only be alleviated by proximity.

 

I tested it out earlier. Felix was under the effects of a low dosage of sedatives and hence was sleeping at the time, so he did not notice.

 

Emotions often manifest as physical symptoms. Since I do not feel emotions, it is strange that I should feel anything at all. Either way, this is tolerable. Once the mission is over, I should be able to dispose of him fairly easily.

 

If this proves to be a problem while I subdue Agent Washington after the files are sent out, I shall have protocols to fall back on. It shouldn't be, however. I am a professional.

 

Of course, I left before he woke up.

 

The Counsellor did not offer me any advice about disposing of a bonded person, only that it is the only way to be rid of a Soulbond. It has been proven with Half-bonds, mostly, because of the rarity of actual Soulbonds.

 

There is still the myth of Soulbonds being unable to kill each other. The data has too small a sample size. It is meaningless.

 

I cannot let myself succumb to physical withdrawal in the long run. The... pain... grows the longer I am apart from him.

 

I know what I shall do with him when it is over.

 

*

 

_[Here, file recovery has managed to salvage some of the deleted files. Locus seems to have entered these, but deleted them. They seem to be observations about Felix._

 

_It is not known why Locus deleted them, as it does not seem to reveal any important information._

 

_There were more entries about Felix. Most of them had to do with his mimic, his gestures, and his physical attributes. Details, down to the length of his eyelashes._

 

_It also details how Felix reacted when Agent Washington was murdered right in front of his eyes. From the information that was salvaged, Felix was devastated, yet Locus must have had intercourse with him afterwards. Perhaps that is why it was deleted._

 

_Since that is unimportant to the mission that Locus was contracted for, most of it is skimmed over and omitted for the report._

 

_Perhaps they will be useful for further studies about Soulmate Marks._

 

_Naturally, there remains the question of the disposal of the witnesses.]_

 

Felix hates me.

 

Does he want to kill me? I can't sense any bloodthirstiness from his eyes. Not the way I did the first time he saw my Mark. Likely not.

 

I cannot live like this. The bond... It consumes me. As he hates me, he gravitates towards me, more than ever.

 

I brought him out to a private location. It was in the forest, just like how we have met. It was not sentimental on my part. The forest provided cover. I would be able to shoot him and leave him for dead, and the animals would scavenge his corpse.

 

As I pointed the gun at him, he smiled and pointed at his forehead.

 

Felix said it was revenge.

 

That I needed him as much as he needed me, if not more. Ridiculous.

 

That if I killed him, I would be free from the Bond, but in the way that addicts will always crave the drugs they no longer touch. He said that it would be poetic justice, to have left a mark on me like that.

 

His death would be revenge for everything that I have done to him.

 

I pulled the trigger. It is strange, because I do not often have this reflex. I... Something within me faltered, and my arm twitched. The shot ricocheted off the side of his skull. He screamed, fell down to his knees. Clutched his head.

 

It was, without a doubt, the Bond that had caused me to fail. It would not explain why Felix failed to kill me back in the Forest, of course. Many questions remain. I do not wish to test them out.

 

Felix was on his knees for a long time, his face covered in blood. He laughed. There were tears in his eyes as he laughed.

  
He even joked about... Our bonding process. Something I do not think is necessary to elaborate on.

 

This was something I had never seen before. How does anybody laugh like this? Even in pain, he was victorious.

 

I gave Felix some painkillers and brought him to a hospital that I knew would not ask questions.

 

He hated me.

 

He was also bleeding, and in pain.

 

Even so, he was trying to hold me. Tried to keep his skin in contact against my undersuit.

 

There is one thing that I don't understand. Why my arm faltered, even though I have shot so many as they faced me.

 

Could what I am feeling be called emotions?

 

If they are, how do I stop feeling them?

  
*

 

 


End file.
